women keep score differently.
When a woman keeps score, no matter how big or small a gift of love is, it scores one point;
each gift has equal value. Its size doesn't matter; it gets a point. A man, however, thinks he
scores one point for one small gift and thirty points for a big gift. Since he doesn't understand
that women keep score differently, he naturally focuses his energies into one or two big gifts.
A man doesn't realize that to a woman the little things are just as important as the big things. In
other words, to a woman, a single rose gets as many points as paying the rent on time. Without
understanding this basic difference in score keeping, men and women are continually
frustrated and disappointed in their relationships.
The following case illustrates this:
In counseling, Pam said, "I do so much for Chuck and he ignores me. All he cares about is his
work."
Chuck said, "But my work pays for our beautiful house and allows us to go on vacations. She
should be happy."
Pam replied, "I don't care about this house or the vacations if we are not loving each other. I
need more from you."
Chuck said, "You make it sound like you give so much more."
Pam said, "I do. I am always doing things for you. I do the wash, fix the meals, clean the
house-everything. You do one thing-you go to work, which does pay the bills. But then you
expect me to do everything else."
Chuck is a successful doctor. Like most professionals his work is very time consuming but very
profitable. He couldn't understand why his wife, Pam, was so discontent. He earned a "good
living" and he provided a "good life" for his wife and family, but when he came home his wife
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