was unhappy.
In Chuck's mind, the more money he made at work, the less he needed to do at home to fulfill
his wife. He thought his hefty paycheck at the end of the month scored him at least thirty
points. When he opened his own clinic and doubled his income, he assumed he was now
scoring sixty points a month. He had no idea that his paycheck earned him only one point each
month with Pam-no matter how big it was.
106
Chuck did not realize that from Pam's point of view, the more he earned, the less she got. His
new clinic required more time and energy. To pick up the slack she began to do even more to
manage their personal life and relationship. As she gave more, she felt as if she was scoring
about sixty points a month to his one. This made her very unhappy and resentful.
Pam felt she was giving much more and getting less. From Chuck's point of view he was now
giving more (sixty points) and should get more from his wife. In his mind the score was even.
He was satisfied with their relationship except for one thing-she wasn't happy. He blamed her
for wanting too much. To him, his increased pay equaled what she was giving. This attitude
made Pam even more angry.
After listening to my relationship course on tape, both Pam and Chuck were able to let go of
their blame and solve their problem with love. A relationship headed for divorce was
transformed.
Chuck learned that doing little things for his wife made a big difference. He was amazed at
how quickly things changed when he started devoting more time and energy to her. He began
to appreciate that for a woman little things are just as important as big things. He now
Do'stlaringiz bilan baham: |