And she would happily say, "OK."
Mistakenly, I got the message that she was as happy as I was about going to the movies. In
truth she was happy to be with me, the movie was OK, but what she wanted was to go to the
local cultural events. That is why she kept mentioning them to me. But because she kept saying
yes to the movies, I had no idea that she was sacrificing her wants to make me happy.
This insight has practical applications for both men and women.
For Men: Remember that if she says yes to your requests, it doesn't mean the score is even. The
score may be twenty to zero in her mind and she will still happily say "Sure I'll pick up your
clothes at the cleaners" or "OK, I'll make that call for you."
Agreeing to doing what you want doesn't mean that it is what she wants. Ask her what she
wants to do. Collect information about what she likes, and then offer to take her to those
places.
For Women: Remember that if you immediately say yes to a man's requests, he gets the idea
that he has given more or that the score is at least even. If you are giving more and getting less,
stop saying yes to his requests. Instead, in a graceful way, begin asking him to do more for you.
5. Martians Give Penalty Points. Women don't realize that men give penalty points when they
feel unloved and unsupported. When a woman reacts to a man in an untrusting, rejecting,
disapproving, or unappreciative way, he gives minus or penalty points.
For example, if a man feels hurt or unloved because his wife has failed to appreciate something
he's done, he feels justified in taking away the points she has already earned. If she has given
Do'stlaringiz bilan baham: |