Personal Development for Smart People: The Conscious Pursuit of Personal Growth
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Personal Development for Smart People
my priors? If he thinks this is a first offense, will the rest of the court think
so, too? Should I correct him on this serious oversight? W h i l e trying to decide h o w to respond, I heard a voice in the back of my m i n d : Keep your damned mouth shut! I realized that speaking up n o w might backfire on me later, but there w a s a slim c h a n c e it could "frontfire," too. I figured that the worst case w a s that I'd have an angry lawyer somewhere d o w n the road, but the best case w a s too g o o d to pass up. G r a n d theft is a felony; petty theft is only a misde- meanor. I decided I had to risk it. Taking risks w a s an all-too-familiar pastime. Several weeks later we w e n t to court, and I w a s a nervous wreck. My plan w a s to keep my mouth shut as m u c h as possible and only say the absolute m i n i m u m . Outside the courtroom, I reviewed the X Introduction posted documents about my case. N o n e of my priors w e r e listed. W a s it h u m a n or computer error? Either way, it w a s o n e huge mistake in my favor. Sure e n o u g h , w h e n my lawyer a n d I entered the courtroom, the court remained under the assumption that this w a s a first offense and diligently processed it as such. I pled no contest to the reduced charge of petty theft and received 60 hours of c o m m u n i t y service. My head w a s spinning as I raced out of the courtroom. T h e next t w o years of my life w e r e mine again. I did those 60 hours like I was at a dream job, knowing full well my sentence could have been 1 7,520 hours. It's hard to imagine a more joyful time in my life than those days spent picking up trash at the Emeryville Marina. You have no idea h o w g o o d freedom feels until y o u expect to lose it. I felt immensely grateful for this second chance, a c h a n c e I felt I didn't deserve. I wish I could say my recovery after these events w a s fast and easy, but it wasn't. Despite this amazing gift, turning my life around w a s still incredibly difficult. I said g o o d - b y e to my Berkeley friends and m o v e d back to my h o m e t o w n of Los Angeles. I landed a m i n i m u m - w a g e job in retail sales. Even with a criminal record, I probably could have found a more lucrative position, but I just didn't w a n t o n e . I only w a n t e d to play it safe, stay below the radar, and eke out a "vanilla" life devoid of stress and excitement. Courage had b e c o m e my enemy. During this year of quiet, uneventful living, I worked on myself. I gradually developed a n e w c o d e of ethics to guide m e , integrating values such as honor, honesty, integrity, humility, and fairness. This conscious reconstruction process w o u l d continue for at least a f e w more years. As the months w e n t by, I began to feel g o o d about myself again, and I decided it w a s time to go back to school. I figured that if I could earn my degree in computer science, it w o u l d s o m e h o w erase my past mistakes. In the fall of 1992, I enrolled at California State University- Northridge ( C S U N ) , starting over as a freshman. C S U N ' s computer- science program wasn't impacted, meaning that it had plenty of room for n e w students. I w a s guaranteed admittance just by filling out an application, so they didn't care that I'd flunked out of UC Berkeley. xi PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT FOR SMART PEOPLE N o w 21 years old, I w a s no longer the same person I'd been at 18. Something was different. I'd developed a passion for personal g r o w t h , and I felt an intense desire to do my absolute best this time. In my mind, I w a s already three years behind, and I couldn't stom- ach the thought of taking four more years to graduate. I knew I w a s responsible for this situation, and I intensely desired to speed things along. So I set the ambitious goal of earning my degree in only three semesters by taking triple the normal course load. Those w h o knew me thought I'd g o n e insane, but they couldn't see into my heart. I was 100 percent c o m m i t t e d , and I knew that nothing could stop me from achieving this goal. It w a s the only w a y I could honor my tre- mendous gift of freedom. To p r e p a r e myself for t h e h e a v y w o r k l o a d , I studied t i m e - m a n a g e m e n t techniques and immediately applied w h a t I learned. I listened to motivational tapes every day to keep my attitude positive. I exercised daily to m a n a g e stress, and I found creative ways to increase my productivity. I experienced a tremendous flow of energy and drive because I knew I w a s finally doing my best. I worked hard and aced my classes. I even a d d e d a double major in mathematics along the way. At my graduation, I was given a special award for being the top computer-science student of the year. In my final semester, I also worked as a contract programmer, developing several computer games for a local games studio, and I served as vice chair of the school's computer club. It took a lot of hard work and conscious effort, but I successfully achieved my goal of graduating from college in three semesters. S o m e h o w this achieve- ment helped me release the pain and guilt of my past while retaining the valuable lessons I'd learned. During the months after my graduation, I launched my o w n c o m - puter-game development business and began dating my future wife, but personal growth remained my top priority. Little did I know at the time, my lifelong pursuit of conscious growth was only beginning. O v e r the next several years, I read hundreds of books and listened to dozens of audio programs on a diverse selection of personal develop- m e n t topics, including psychology, motivation, success, productivity, career development, problem solving, health, w e a l t h , conscious liv- ing, spirituality, meditation, and more. xii Introduction Admittedly, most of the self-help information I absorbed w a s n ' t very helpful. T h e authors w e r e enthusiastic, but their ideas w e r e often unoriginal, inconsistent, incongruent, incomplete, impractical, or sim- ply incorrect. I suspected that many of t h e m exaggerated their results. If y o u ' r e an avid reader of such works, I'm sure y o u ' v e encountered similar problems, such as buying a diet book and discovering that it's nothing more than a disguised sales pitch for expensive supplements. Nevertheless, I did encounter some nuggets of w i s d o m that gave me n e w insights and helped me improve my life. However, my greatest breakthroughs usually c a m e from personal experimentation, not from devouring information products. I ran my computer-games business for many years (sometimes successfully, sometimes unsuccessfully) while maintaining a passion- ate interest in personal development on the side. But as time w e n t by, I lost interest in g a m e publishing, and running my business b e c a m e less fulfilling. I decided it w a s time to expand my personal develop- m e n t hobby into my primary career. Download 1.6 Mb. Do'stlaringiz bilan baham: |
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