Shepherding a Child's Heart

What If We’re Not at Home?
Sometimes, children don’t disobey at convenient times or in
convenient places. In a culture that cannot distinguish between
biblical discipline and child abuse, it is unwise to spank children in
public. If possible, you should seek a private place to undertake
biblical discipline.
When your children are very small, you may choose to overlook
things that you would not overlook at home. On balance, this is not a
great problem, since most of your training time is spent at home.
Some parents say: “If I do not discipline when we are out of the
house, my children will know they can get away with bad behavior
when we are not at home.” If they are that clever they will remember
when you get home. As children near school-age, they can remember
events long enough to make correcting them at a later time possible.
It is important to keep the discipline of your children a private
matter. If you are in another home, you can ask for a place where you

---

can speak to your child in private.
Being with others when your children are misbehaving is very
uncomfortable. You may feel under great social pressure to be
successful. You may fear that your relatives expect perfection. You
want to be a testimony to them. You want them to see that biblical
methods are bearing fruit. The temptation is strong to solve problems
through some compromise to avoid embarrassment. But, you may
never use your children to promote your convictions. The purpose of
discipline is not evangelism. The purpose of discipline is to shepherd
your children. Using them to showcase your beliefs abuses their
dignity and threatens the integrity of your relationship with them.
When you feel pressure from observers, abandon the scene. Go to
a private place where you can respond to your child’s needs without
the pressure of public observation.