The Art Of Saying no: How To Stand Your Ground, Reclaim Your Time And Energy, And Refuse To Be Taken For Granted
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The art of saying no
STRATEGY #2: DON'T STALL FOR
TIME Y ou can tell when someone is stalling. Likewise, others can tell when you do it. None of us are as inconspicuous as we think. Yet many of us are still tempted to stall for time when someone asks us for help. We know we’re unable to spare the time and/or energy. We realize the answer must ultimately be no. But instead of giving the requestor a direct response, we beat around the bush and delay the inevitable. For example, we respond by asking, “Can I get back to you on that?” Or we tell the requestor, “Let me think about it when I have a free moment.” Sometimes we do it to be tactful. We know we must decline the request, but we don’t want the requestor to think we’re rejecting him or her. We don’t want the individual to think it’s personal. Other times we do it out of fear. We’re concerned that refusing to put the requestor’s needs before our own will trigger a confrontation. So, we stall in the hopes of lessening the impact of our refusal. Still other times we delay because we truly want to help the individual, but are swamped and uncertain how to do it. We stall for time, hoping to figure out how to meet our own obligations while accommodating the requestor. Stalling is a bad idea for a few reasons. First, it strings the requestor along. It encourages him or her to hold out hope for your help even though there’s little chance you’ll be able to deliver. When the requestor realizes you’re unable to offer assistance, and his or her time has been wasted, he or she is likely to become irritated. Second, stalling makes you appear indecisive. When you fail to respond with a direct “no,” the requestor may become more assertive, believing you can be persuaded to acquiesce. Third, stalling for time reduces your productivity by prolonging the situation. It forces you to spend more time than necessary declining the request. When someone asks you for help, and you know you must turn down the request, don’t stall. Be direct and clear. Doing so may feel uncomfortable. It may even prompt the requestor to respond in anger. But you can’t control his or her response nor the emotions behind it. Being sincere with a direct “no” shows respect. It also prevents the request from hanging over your head like a dark, ominous cloud. |
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