The Happiest Baby on the Block and The Happiest Toddler on the Block 2-Book Bundle pdfdrive com

Rude distraction
Distraction works well with babies, so it’s natural to want to use it with
toddlers. But be careful. To an upset toddler distraction may feel like a
disrespectful interruption or like you’re saying, “Stop feeling your
feelings.”
Tara, 14 months old, was thrilled with her new skill—
walking. But she was not thrilled to be stuck in my exam
room. She headed straight for the exit. “Unghh! Unghh!”
she grunted, pushing at the closed door. Then she started
slapping it. She wanted out!
Tara’s mom, Simone, briefly acknowledged her tot’s
feelings, then moved directly to distraction: “No,
sweetheart. I know you want to leave, but we have to stay
here just a little longer. Hey, let’s look at this pretty
book.” Unfortunately, Simone’s attempt was met with a
beet-red face and a shriek that rattled the windows.
Regaining her composure, Simone tried to engage Tara
with a cheery verse of “The Itsy-Bitsy Spider.” But again
she was met with fiery protests and flailing limbs.
Frustration growing, Simone put her foot down. “Tara!
No screaming! Shhhh!” But it was too late. Tara was
hysterical. Embarrassed—and annoyed—Simone
apologized, tossed her “little volcano” over her shoulder,
and, avoiding the stares of the parents in my waiting
room, sped out the door.
To understand Tara’s reaction, imagine that you told your best friend
about something that upset you, and she responded with a silly change

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of subject: “Hey, look. New shoes!” I bet pretty soon you’d be looking for
a new best friend.
Toddlers also get annoyed when we answer their protests and upsets
with distractions. But of course, they don’t have the option of switching
parents. So they either accept your distraction, pushing their hurt
feelings deep inside, or scream louder, to try to force you to care.
I used to witness this parenting faux pas in my office every day. A
toddler cried as I started to examine her ears and her mom instantly
started jiggling a doll inches in front of her face, chirping, “Look! Pretty
dolly!”
The response? More times than not, the child’s shrieks jumped an
octave, as if to say, “Dolly!? Are you kidding? Don’t you see I’m scared?”
Rushing to “Make It All Better”
We often interrupt our child’s complaints with positive comments like
“It’s not so bad” or “You’re okay.”
It’s natural to want to comfort your upset child. You just want to
“make everything better.” But when your little one is upset, immediately
saying “It’s okay!” can actually make things worse. That’s because
repeating “It’s okay” over and over again may inadvertently give your
child the message that you want her to stuff her feelings deep down
inside and act happy even if she isn’t. And that is absolutely not okay.

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