The Happiest Baby on the Block and The Happiest Toddler on the Block 2-Book Bundle pdfdrive com

Yellow-Light Skill #2: Make Your
Limits Clear and Consistent
Your first job as a parent is to give your child love, food, and shelter. But
the instant she starts toddling, a new task falls on your shoulders: limit
setting.
Limits teach toddlers the difference between right and wrong,
politeness and rudeness, safety and danger, and so on. In essence, they’re
the walls that you will use to guide your toddler down the path of life.
You may be a parent who sets up strict limits (like very close walls) or
loose limits (like walls that are far apart). But once you set the rules,
don’t expect your tot to immediately obey all of them. While your job is
to set limits, your little friend’s job is to push the walls (your limits) to
see if you really mean them.
If you’re consistent, your tot will soon give up and go along with your
demands. But mushy limits often backfire and make kids defy us even
more. They push until the “wall” topples over (in other words, we give
in) or until the “wall” stops moving (we hold firm).

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Setting clear limits is superimportant. You must raise your children
with humility and kindness, but you also need courage and resolve. Your
family is not a democracy! Start each new day with love, but don’t cave
in on important limits. When push comes to shove (and shove to bite),
you must respectfully use your power to keep order.
Here are four tips for effective limit setting:
1. Be reasonable. Unrealistic expectations are a recipe for
frustration. Remember, toddlers have limited impulse control, so
remove dangers and temptations (like fragile items) and make
your home fit your child, rather than vice versa.
2. Set limits with a KISS (Keep it short and simple!). Long
sentences (“Debbie, come here, please. It’s time to put your
crayons away. I don’t want to have to ask you again. Please don’t
make me nag.”) are too tough for your toddler’s immature left

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brain. Simple statements work better (“Crayons stay in the
den.”).
3. Be consistent. Consistency helps kids learn a clear sense of right
and wrong. Of course, no one is 100 percent consistent. There
will be times when you forget or get too busy to enforce a limit.
Also, there will be times when your child is whinier than usual
(because of being over-hungry, tired, sick, or having a tough
day), and you will choose to bend the rules. But when you do
break your own rules you should clearly state that you’re making
a temporary exception. (“You know the rule, we only eat in the
kitchen. But today is special … it’s Daddy’s birthday! So let’s
have a picnic in the living room. It will be fun, but we can only
eat on the blanket.”)
4. Avoid mixed messages. Speaking too sweetly or smiling while
you set a limit confuses kids. It unintentionally gives a green
light to your toddler’s annoying acts. If you want your child to
know you mean business, crouch down (staying just a bit above
your child’s eye level) and give your message with a deep voice
and a serious face.