Connect with Respect.
Toddler fears may start out small, but
ignoring her fears will only make them grow. We know that ants aren’t a
danger, but if you’re too fast to pooh-pooh your child’s fear it may make
her feel more alone … and more scared, just when she needs your help.
So before you try to dispel her worries, invest a minute of your time in
using the Fast-Food Rule and Toddler-ese to show your little friend that
you “get it” and you really care.
“Bugs! Bugs! Stella hates buggies! Stella hates buggies!
She says, ‘Go away now, you buggies!’ ”
Routines.
Bedtime fears are made better by some loveys (cuddly
protectors that “stand in” for you when you’re in the next room) and
special bedtime routines. Put on soothing music and dim the lights in
your house an hour before bedtime to help keep your child in a calm
state of mind. (Avoid roughhousing and TV during that golden hour.)
Fran gave Stella a bedtime massage (right after she did
her magic breathing). Then Fran tucked her into bed and
did a little bedtime sweet talk (listing great things she did
that day and her fun plans for tomorrow). Then Fran
kissed all Stella’s dollies good-night and ended the routine
with a few squirts of “secret superspray” (water with a
tiny bit of lavender oil in a small spray bottle with a
smiley-face sticker) and a special song (“Mommy loves
you, Daddy loves you, Stella. Stella is safe, safe, safe!”).
The first night, Stella was fine for five minutes, but then
she came crying to her parents’ door. They listened and
echoed her concerns (making sure they aimed for her
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