13 Things Mentally Strong People Don\'t Do: Take Back Your Power, Embrace Change, Face Your Fears, and Train Your Brain for Happiness and Success pdfdrive com

MANAGE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
Look for unrealistically negative thoughts that may be influencing you. Once
you’ve started to make changes, the way you think about the process can also
greatly affect how motivated you’ll be to keep going. Be on the alert for these
types of thoughts that will tempt you to shy away from change:

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• This will never work.
• I can’t handle doing something different.
• It will be too hard.
• It’ll be too stressful to give up the things I like.
• What I’m doing now isn’t that bad.
• There’s no sense in trying because I tried something like that before and it
didn’t help.
• I don’t deal with change well.
Just because you think it will be difficult doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it.
Often, some of the best things in life come from our ability to conquer a
challenge through hard work.
CREATE A SUCCESSFUL PLAN FOR CHANGE
Preparing for the change can be the most important step. Create a plan for how
you’ll implement the change and how you’ll stick to it. Once you have a plan in
place, then you can implement the behavioral change one small step at a time.
Initially, Richard told himself he needed to lose seventy-five pounds. Thinking
about that huge number however, overwhelmed him. He just didn’t think it was
possible. He started each day with the best of intentions, but by the evening, he
slid back into his old habits. It wasn’t until he began focusing on what he could
do today that he was able to start making helpful behavioral changes. By
establishing smaller goals, such as losing five pounds, he was able to create
action steps that he could do each day. He kept a food journal, packed his lunch
instead of dining out, and went for a short walk with his family on the days he
didn’t go to the gym.
Unless you’re dealing with an all-or-nothing type of change, you can create
change in incremental steps. Prepare for making the change with these steps:

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• Create a goal for what you would like to accomplish in the next thirty days.
Sometimes people try to change everything all at once. Identify one goal that
you want to focus on first and establish a realistic expectation for what you’d
like to see change in one month’s time.
• Establish concrete behavior changes you can make to reach that goal each
day. Identify at least one step you can take each day to move closer to your
goal.
• Anticipate obstacles along the way. Make a plan for how you will respond to
specific challenges that you’re likely to encounter. Planning ahead can help
you stay on track.
• Establish accountability. We do best when we establish some type of
accountability for our progress. Enlist the help of friends and family who can
provide support and check in with you about your progress. Be accountable
to yourself by writing down your progress daily.
• Monitor your progress. Determine how you’ll keep track of your progress.
Keeping a record of your efforts and daily achievements can help you stay
motivated to maintain changes.
BEHAVE LIKE THE PERSON YOU WANT TO BECOME
If your goal is to be more outgoing, behave in a friendly manner. If you want to
be a successful salesperson, study how successful salespeople behave and then
do what they do. You don’t necessarily have to wait until you feel like it or until
the right time comes; start changing your behavior now.
Richard wanted to be healthier, so he needed to behave like a healthy person.
Eating a healthy diet and engaging in more physical activity were two things
Richard could start doing to get closer to his goals.
Clearly identify the type of person you’d like to be. Then, be proactive about
becoming that person. So often I hear, “I wish I could have more friends.” Don’t
wait for friends to come to you; start acting like a friendly person now and you
can develop new friendships.

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EMBRACING CHANGE WILL MAKE YOU
STRONGER
Judge Greg Mathis was raised in the projects of Detroit during the 1960s and
1970s. As a teenager, he was arrested many times, and he dropped out of school
to join a gang. At the age of seventeen, while incarcerated at a juvenile detention
center, his mother was diagnosed with colon cancer. Mathis was offered early
probation as a result of her illness and promised his dying mother he’d turn his
life around once and for all.
His probation terms required him to maintain a job, and he began working at
McDonald’s. He was accepted to Eastern Michigan University and went on to
law school. Due to his criminal history, he wasn’t able to get a job as a lawyer,
but that didn’t stop him from finding ways to help the city of Detroit. He became
manager of the Detroit Neighborhood City Halls. Around the same time, he and
his wife established Young Adults Asserting Themselves, a nonprofit agency
that helped young people find employment. A few years later, Mathis decided to
run for judge. Although his opponents reminded the community of his criminal
background, the people of Detroit believed Mathis was a changed man. Mathis
was elected the youngest judge in Michigan’s history after beating out the
twenty-year incumbent. Judge Mathis soon gained Hollywood attention and in
1999, he began a successful TV show where he settles small-claims disputes.
Once a criminal himself, Judge Mathis now donates much of his time and
energy to helping young people make better decisions in their lives. He tours the
country offering Youth and Education Expos that encourage young people to
make the best choices they can for their future. He’s received multiple awards
and commendations for his ability to inspire young people to avoid making the
same mistakes he made in his life.
Sometimes change results in a complete transformation that could alter the
entire course of your life. So often, when people become committed to create
change in one area of their lives, like pay off their debt, before they know it,
they’re also losing weight and their marriages improve. Positive change leads to
increased motivation and increased motivation leads to more positive change.
Embracing change is a two-way street.

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