pressure on a man to make him the only source of love and support. When a woman's wave
crashes and her partner is in his cave, it is essential that she have other sources of support.
Otherwise she can't help but feel powerless and resent her partner.
HOW MONEY CAN CREATE PROBLEMS
Chris said, "I am completely confused. When we got married we were poor. We both worked
hard and we barely had enough money for the rent. Sometimes my wife, Pam, would complain
about how hard her life was. I could understand it. But now we are rich. We both have
successful careers. How can she still be unhappy and complain? Other women would give
anything to be in her situation. All we do is fight. We were happier when we were poor; now
we want a divorce."
Chris did not understand that women are like waves. When he married Pam, from time to time
her wave would crash. At those times he would listen and understand her unhappiness. It was
easy for him to validate her negative feelings because he shared them. From his perspective she
had a good reason to be upset-they didn't have a lot of money.
Money Doesn't Fulfill Emotional Needs
Martians tend to think money is the solution to all problems. When Chris and Pam were poor
and struggling to make ends meet, he would listen and empathize with her pain and resolve to
make more money so she wouldn't be unhappy. Pam felt that he really cared.
But as their life improved financially she continued to get upset from time to time. He couldn't
understand why she still wasn't happy. He thought she should be happy all the time because
they were so rich. Pam felt that he didn't care about her.
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