How To Quit Porn
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Dr. David Smith - How To Quit Porn (2nd Edition)
The right attitude We will start with discussing what the right attitude is again, because it’s so important. This is potentially the most important mental factor in helping you conquer addiction. In recovery, don’t feel like you are depriving yourself of something good. If you count how many days you have not watched porn, think of it as how many days you have been free and escaped from a state of slavery. View yourself as free, not depriving yourself of something you want. Start by changing your habits that lead to porn addiction. Maybe you are surfing the Internet too much. Generally, there are other issues in life that you must look out for. In Chinese philosophy, habits and repeated behaviors play a large role in life outcomes. Confucian philosophy is predicated on the realization that human behavior follows habits that get strengthened with repetition. Thus, you must have positive rituals that are fit to weather through life. Reading philosophy or any books are a positive step to change your mentality and help get yourself out of certain ruts of thinking. Having a good attitude and healthy behaviors should be a habit. These should be traits that are fundamental to you, not just how you act in the moment. Don’t think of yourself as an addict, trying hard to recover. Think of yourself as someone who just doesn’t watch porn. This mental perspective has helped people quit smoking, for example. In recovery, when offered a cigarette, those who consider themselves as trying to quit smoking are less successful at resisting than people who simply say that they are not smokers. Tell yourself, I’m not a porn watcher. I don’t watch porn. I prefer real sex and genuine human interaction. Just like smoking and drinking, from porn there is nothing to gain. Objectively, when looking from an outside perspective, it makes no sense and there is no reason to ever watch porn. You would never encourage someone you care about to watch hours of porn each day. Think carefully of why you are stuck in this trap even though you don’t want to be. Perhaps you have noticed difficulty in summoning self-control against the purposeless craving that can never be satisfied. Then realize you are not craving anything real. You only want to satisfy the withdrawal that you felt because of the previous time you watched porn. This withdrawal is just an uneasy, empty feeling that goes away with time. The time is now to join the resistance and put effort into defeating porn, one of the most challenging personal struggles you will face. |
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