John Gray – Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus Scanned by nova scanner: Canoscan D1250 U2f software: Omnipage Pro 9 Date: 28 August 2002 Proofed by

 
I personally experienced this inner transformation. Her acceptance of my grumbles and 
appreciation of me when I returned healed my resistance. From that time on, as she practiced 
assertive asking, it was much easier for me to respond to her requests. 
 
The Pregnant Pause 
 
One of the key elements of assertive asking is to remain silent after you have asked for support. 
Allow your partner to work through their resistance. Be careful not to disapprove of his 
grumbles. As long as you pause and remain silent, you have the possibility of getring his 
support. If you break the silence you lose your power. 
 
Women unknowingly break the silence and lose their power by making comments like: 
 
* "Oh, forget it." 
 
* "I can't believe you are saying no. I do so much for you." 
ing the message that your need is just as great as his. Then ask again. 
 
Here are some examples: 
 
What a Man Replies to her Request 
How She can Respond with Assertive Asking 
"I don't have time. Can't you do it?" 
"I'm also rushed. Would you please do it?" 
Then remain silent again. 
"No, I don't want to do that." 
"I would really appreciate it. Will you please do 
it for me?"
Then remain silent again. 
"I'm busy, what are you doing?" 
"I'm busy too. Will you please do it?" 
Then remain silent again. 
"No, I don't feel like It." 
"I don't feel like it either. Would you please do 
it?" 
Then remain silent again. 
 
Notice that she is not trying to convince him but is simply, matching his resistance. If he is 
tired, don't try to prove that you are more tired and therefore he should help you. Or if he