the opposite of what she hears.
WHAT TO DO WHEN HE GOES INTO HIS CAVE
In my seminars when I explain about caves and dragons, women want to know how they can
shorten the time men spend in their caves. At this point I ask the men to answer, and they
generally say that the more women try to get them to talk or come out, the longer it takes.
Another common comment by men is "It is hard to come out of the cave when I feel my mate
disapproves of the time I spend in the cave." To make a man feel wrong for going into his cave
has the effect of pushing him back into the cave even when he wants to come out.
When a man goes into his cave he is generally wounded or stressed and is trying to solve his
problem alone. To give him the support that a woman would want is counterproductive. There
are basically six ways to support him when he goes into his cave. (Giving him this support will
also shorten the time he needs to spend alone.)
How to Support a Man in His Cave
1. Don't disapprove of his need for withdrawing.
50
2. Don't try to help him solve his problem by offering solutions.
3. Don't try to nurture him by asking questions about his feelings.
4. Don't sit next to the door of the cave and wait for him to come out.
5. Don't worry about him or feel sorry for him.
6. Do something that makes you happy.
If you need to "talk," write him a letter to be read later when he is out, and if you need to be
nurtured, talk to a friend. Don't make him the sole source of your fulfillment.
Do'stlaringiz bilan baham: |
