John Gray – Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus Scanned by nova scanner: Canoscan D1250 U2f software: Omnipage Pro 9 Date: 28 August 2002 Proofed by

also when they misinterpret his expressions, which are generally warnings that he is either in 
his cave or on his way to the cave. When asked "What's the matter?" a Martian will say 
something brief like "It's nothing" or "I am OK." 
 
These brief signals are generally the only way a Venusian knows to give him space to work out 
his feelings alone. Instead of saying "I am upset and I need some time to be alone," men just 

---

48 
become quiet. 
 
In the following chart six commonly expressed abbreviated warning signals are fisted as well 
as how a woman might unknowingly respond in an intrusive and unsupportive manner: 
 
SIX COMMON ABBREVIATED WARNING SIGNALS 
 
When a woman asks "What's the matter?" 
 
A Man Says 
A Woman Responds 
"I'm OK" or "It's OK.' 
"I know something's wrong. What is it?" 
"I'm fine" or "It's fine." 
"But you seem upset. Let's talk." 
"It's nothing." 
"I want to help. I know something is bothering you. What is 
it?" 
"It's all right" or "I'm all right." 
"Are you sure? I am happy to help you." 
"It's no big deal." 
"But something is upsetting you. I think we should talk." 
"It's no problem." 
"But it is a problem. I could help." 
 
When a man makes one of the above abbreviated comments he generally wants silent 
acceptance or space. At times like this, to avoid misinterpretation and unnecessary panic, the 
Venusians consulted their Martian/Venusian Phrase Dictionary. Without this assistance, 
women misinterpret these abbreviated expressions. 
 
Women need to know that when a man says "I am OK" it is an abbreviated version of what he