Microsoft Word Marriage Guide doc

Source: 
www.al-islamforall@org
 
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8 A Bank Balance in Heaven 
'Allah has purchased from the believers their wealth and their souls, so that Heaven 
might be theirs.' (9:111) 
Marriage is not a bed of roses. Or, at least, if you wish to look at it in such terms, it 
is a bed of roses with plenty of thorns in it. 
The rest of this little book is an attempt to shed some light on what makes so many 
marriages go wrong, so that hopefully, you who are starting out can avoid a few of the 
pitfalls. 
The true Muslim is conscious of God at every moment of the day, during every event 
of life. And He is present with us not only during the grand times, when we are in the 
limelight, and are patted on the back when we are successful, but also in those far more 
frequent times when we are successful, but also in those far more frequent times when we 
are slogging away, coping with boredom and frustration at work or at home, and putting up 
with things we do not really like. He does not only see the things that are done in public but 
as al-Basir, the All seeing, beholds even the tiniest things that are done behind closed 
doors. 
Very many of those private things have to do with marriage and family. It is vitally 
important for believers to be realistic. It is all too) easy for Muslims to read book after book 
extolling the wonders and virtues of Islamic marriage when the briefest of glimpses into 
the actual, private state of affairs in some homes can be horrifying. 
Life amid the stresses of the modern world, particularly in our high-speed cities, 
places unprecedented strains on relationships. There is no point in being complacent and 
pointing to the high rate of infidelity and breakdown of non-Muslim marriages-many of 
the same pressures are starting to bear down on us. Only by remembering the Islamic 
virtues of compassion, selflessness and consideration, and being aware that we will be 
judged for every cruelty, can we steer a safe course through the stormy waters of 
today's social environment. 
When the Blessed Prophet's wife A'ishah, may God be pleased with her, was asked 
about the Prophet's character (khuluq), she responded that his character was the 
Qur'an. His conformity to the enlightened and wise norm of behaviour counselled by God 
was complete. She knew that there was no detail, however small, of his private life 
which would show him up in public as practicing double standards. But the reality for 
lesser Muslims often falls far short of this ideal, if their practice of Islam is left behind 
with their umbrella when they step through the front door on returning home. 
Muslims should realise that Allah knows not only our actions, but also our 
thoughts and motives. 'He knows the treason of the eyes, and what the hearts conceal' 
(40:19). When people do wrong in secret, and think that they have got away with it 
successfully-they are wrong! Allah has seen everything they did. Similarly, when people 
strive to do the right thing, and sometimes get downhearted because they think that nobody 
has noticed or appreciated what they did-they are also wrong. 
This is an enormous responsibility for us, and also a great joy; and awareness of it 
can be the saving of our sanity in a bad marriage. When, sadly, some marriages begin to go 
wrong, it brings enormous consolation to the 'wronged party' to know that God is witness to 
every aspect of the situation. It can give them just the strength they need to persevere 
until better times. 
A good marriage, to the Prophet (P.B.U.H), was not just a case of a man and 
woman rubbing along reasonably well together. It meant a living, creative and dynamic 
powerhouse of goodness that would spill over and bless all who came into contact with it. 
A house was not just a houseit was a place of refuge, of consolation, of peace, of plenty, 
of provision. A bird could shelter in its eaves, or a lost traveller find shelter within its 
The Muslim Marriage Guide: Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood

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