Microsoft Word Marriage Guide doc

Loose talk.
Never speak about your intimate life to another person, unless you are 
seeking medical help. Loose chatter about intimate things is extremely damaging, and you 
will never know to whom these secrets will be passed on, or when they will return again to 
embarrass you. 
'On the Day of Judgment the lowest person in the sight of God will be the man who is 
intimate with his wife and then broadcast her secrets.' (Hadith in Muslim) 
'A man should never discuss sexual matters with any of his wife's relatives.' (Imam al-
Nawawi, Sharh al-Arba'in) 
Male Ego. 
A husband should recall that he is not making love to his own ego, but to 
his wife. He has an unconscious need to impress himself, but he will be more impressive if 
he listens to his wife, and works with her as a team. 
Making Up
. Ending a row can be the sweetest moment in a marriage. 
'If a woman, on her husband's being displeased, says to him that she will not sleep 
unless he is pacified and her hand is in his, she is deserving of Paradise.' (Hadith in 
Tabarani) 
Masochism.
There are many women and men, especially, it seems, in Anglo-
Saxon and Protestant cultures, who cannot achieve orgasm without the fantasy of 
beating or being beaten. (See 'The Role of Muslim Women in Society,' Afzalur Rahman, 
Seerah Foundation, 1986, pp. 416ff, quoting Dr. Norman Haire in the Encyclopedia of 
Sexual Knowledge, p. 315.) Where this is only 'token' in nature, rather than a real 
desire to be tortured and abused (something which requires spiritual and medical 
The Muslim Marriage Guide: Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood

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Source: 
www.al-islamforall@org
 
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attention), it can on rare occasions enhance a marriage, when the partner is kind and 
considerate as regards the fantasies of the other.