Microsoft Word Marriage Guide doc

Men Unused to Women
. If a man has not had to live with sisters, he will often 
be quite taken aback by female 'trappings,' such as tights hanging up in the bathroom, 
or girl's underwear on the radiators. The most important woman in his life has been his 
mother, and he may expect his wife to have the same habits and views, opinions on 
going out to work, looking after husbands, and so on-in which case living with a 
modern young woman may come as a shock! Worse, if his mother spoiled him, he may 
be completely untrained, and may even have treated her mother rather like a servant, 
and now expects his new wife to endlessly run round after him picking things up. A good 
Muslim man takes on marriage as a new form of living, and should be willing to be 
sympathetic, to be helpful, and to adjust to the new situation. A Muslim wife recognises 
that in some ways men nowadays always remain boys, but it is her duty to make him take 
responsibility for himself and his children-she is not his slave! 
'Make things easy for people, and do not make them hard; cheer people up and do 
not rebuff them.' (Hadith from Muslim.) 
Menstruation.
See 'Periods.' 
Modesty (haya').
Most Muslim women are extremely modest-the Prophet (P.B.U.H) 
said that 'modesty brings nothing but good'-and so do not like to be looked at when nude. 
Have respect for your wife's feelings, and allow her to retain some clothing or put out the 
lights if she feels happier that way. Otherwise, she may be very inhibited and unhappy. 
Similarly, some Muslim men prefer to retain some clothing when in the bedroom. There is 
nothing whatsoever wrong with this. Others enjoy complete nudity, which is acceptable 
also. The scholars hold that is permissible to look at the private parts of one's spouse. 
'When anyone from among you wishes to have sexual intercourse with his wife, he 
should pull a cover over him, and they should not be naked like two donkeys.' (A weak 
hadith in Ibn Majah) 
Nagging.
The idea is to wear down the partner by continually going on about 
something. It rarely works, is never attractive in either partner, and can push a marriage 
onto the rocks because of one partner's tireless campaign to change the character of the 
The Muslim Marriage Guide: Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood

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