Microsoft Word Marriage Guide doc

Massage (tadlik).
This is a wonderful part of marriage, very important in the 
traditional Islamic world, and all couples should buy a book or go on a course to learn 
it. Obviously it should be a two-way act of love. It is not right for the husband to 
accept his wife's labours on his behalf, and not be willing to return the compliment. 
See 'Head massage,' 'Foot massage,' and 'Treading.' 
Masturbation (istimna').
Although the Prophet (P.B.U.H) advised fasting to 
develop will-power and weaken the sex drive of unmarried people, this is a common 
(albeit very private) practice among young people who have not yet married. It seems 
to be particularly common in societies where marriage is left late. Most Muslim 
scholars permit it in the absence of a legitimate partner to satisfy one's desires. For 
instance, Imam Ibn Hanbal and Ibn Hazm allow it for those who fear that without a 
sexual outlet they might otherwise commit adultery or fornication, such as those 
financially unable to marry, prisoners, travellers, and others (both men and women) 
without access to a legitimate partner. 
Masturbation should not be necessary once a person is married, but in some 
cases it persists. On occasion, where birth control is not available, men can get into 
the habit of some form of masturbation instead of intercourse, so that their wives do 
not get pregnant. Many men do not realise that if they choose deliberately to come to 
climax outside the wife's vagina, then this is really a form of masturbation. The 
Prophet (P.B.U.H) recommended that this be done only with the wife's permission, 
because it will leave the wife open to possible temptation to zina if her husband is not 
satisfying her. And some women get so little satisfaction from their husbands that they 
secretly carry out these rather sad practices rather than tell them and hurt their 
feelings or risk rejection.