Phraseology and Culture in English

7.
Reasonable and human interaction 
The word reasonable (as it is used in modern English) is crucially involved 
in a number of “cultural scripts”. It is particularly noteworthy that it is 
linked with the central strategies for interpersonal interaction in modern 
Anglo society. In any society, one of the key problems is getting other peo-

---

62
Anna Wierzbicka 
ple to do what one wants them to do. In many societies, this problem tends 
to be solved on the basis of power differentiation. Hierarchical structures 
and accepted patterns of inequality often make it clear who can tell whom 
what to do. From the point of view of the powerless, the answer may often 
lie in begging, imploring, and the like, that is, in putting pressure on the pow-
erful by appealing to their feelings. It may also lie in a system of asymmet-
rical relationships of “patronage”, ie. a pattern of care and responsibility for 
others (one’s “dependants”) that is associated with a higher status. 
In democratic societies like Britain, America or Australia, other pat-
terns have come to the fore, patterns based on assumptions and values of 
equality, individual autonomy, voluntary co-operation, mutual concessions 
and so on. In this cultural climate, the scope for orders and commands
is limited, and at the same time there is less room for patronage, for beg-
ging, imploring, pleading, appealing to mercy (cf. Wierzbicka in press b). 
The idea of “sweet dependency” (comparable to Japanese “amae”, cf.
e.g. Doi 1981; Wierzbicka 1997) is also culturally alien; on the contrary, 
value is placed on independence and self-reliance. But if one can neither 
give orders and commands, nor beg, implore, plead, or appeal for mercy, 
help, or patronage, how does one get others to do what one wants them
to do? 
The modern use of the word reasonable and of the phrases based on it 
suggests that Anglo strategies in this regard include limiting one’s claims 
on others and at the same time appealing to reason. A sentence like “Be 
reasonable” appeals both to the ideal of limiting one’s claims on other peo-
ple and to that of acting according to reason. To reject such an appeal is to 
reject some of Anglo culture’s central cultural scripts. 
In her book Let’s Be Reasonable – A Guide to Resolving Disputes, the 
Australian lawyer and community legal educator Margaret White recom-
mends “being reasonable” as the most effective answer to the problems of 
“living and working together”(1997: vii). “Being reasonable” includes, ac-
cording to this guide, “stating your case moderately”, “trying to see the 
problems from their [the other side’s] point of view”, and using a “lubricant 
demeanor” in “the manner of your approach, the tone of your voice” (p. 5). 
The back cover describes the book as “an invaluable guide and reference 
for every household and business … a layperson’s guide to resolving dis-
putes of all sorts as quickly, efficiently and effectively as possible”. With-
out disputing the publisher’s description of the book, one might add that it 
is also an invaluable (if inadvertent) guide to some key Anglo cultural 
scripts.

---

Reasonably well
63