The 50th Law (with 50 Cent)

12
Reconnect to the Masculine or
Feminine Within You
The Law of Gender Rigidity
ll of us have masculine and feminine qualities—some of this is
genetic, and some of it comes from the profound influence of the
parent of the opposite sex. But in the need to present a consistent
identity in society, we tend to repress these qualities, overidentifying
with the masculine or feminine role expected of us. And we pay a
price for this. We lose valuable dimensions to our character. Our
thinking and ways of acting become rigid. Our relationships with
members of the opposite sex suffer as we project onto them our own
fantasies and hostilities. You must become aware of these lost
masculine or feminine traits and slowly reconnect to them,
unleashing creative powers in the process. You will become more fluid
in your thinking. In bringing out the masculine or feminine undertone
to your character, you will fascinate people by being authentically
yourself. Do not play the expected gender role, but rather create the
one that suits you.
The Authentic Gender
As a young girl, Caterina Sforza dreamed of great deeds that she would
be a part of as a member of the illustrious Sforza family of Milan. Born
in 1463, Caterina was the daughter out of wedlock of a beautiful
Milanese noblewoman and Galeazzo Maria Sforza, who became Duke
of Milan upon the death of his father in 1466. As duke, Galeazzo
ordered that his daughter be brought into the castle, Porta Giovia,
where he lived with his new wife, and that she be raised like any
legitimate member of the Sforza family. His wife, Caterina’s

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stepmother, treated her as one of her own. The girl was to have the
finest education. The man who had served as Galeazzo’s tutor, the
famous humanist Francesco Filelfo, would now serve as Caterina’s
tutor. He taught her Latin, Greek, philosophy, the sciences, and even
military history.
Often alone, Caterina would wander almost daily into the vast castle
library, one of the largest in Europe. She had her favorite books that
she would read over and over. One of these was a history of the Sforza
family, written by Filelfo himself in the style of Homer. There, in this
enormous volume with its elaborate illustrations, she would read about
the remarkable rise to power of the Sforza family, from condottiere
(captains in mercenary armies) to ruling the duchy of Milan itself. The
Sforzas were renowned for their cleverness and bravery in battle.
Along with this, she loved to read books that recounted the chivalric
tales of real-life knights in armor, and the stories of great leaders in the
past; among these, one of her favorites was Illustrious Women by
Boccaccio, which related the deeds of the most celebrated women in
history. And as she whiled away her time in the library, all of these
books converging in her mind, she would daydream about the future
glory of the family, somehow herself in the midst of it all. And at the
center of these fantasies was the image of her father, a man who to her
was as great and legendary as anyone she had read about.
Although the encounters with her father were often brief, to
Caterina they were intense. He treated her as an equal, marveling at
her intelligence and encouraging her in her studies. From early on, she
identified with her father—experiencing his traumas and triumphs as if
they were her own. As were all the Sforza children, girls included,
Caterina was taught sword fighting and underwent rigorous physical
training. As part of this side of her education, she would go on hunting
expeditions with the family in the nearby woods of Pavia. She was
trained to hunt and kill wild boars, stags, and other animals. On these
excursions she would watch her father with awe. He was a superior
horseman, riding with such impetuosity, as if nothing could harm him.
In the hunt, taking on the largest animals, he showed no signs of fear.
At court, he was the consummate diplomat yet always maintained the
upper hand. He confided in her his methods—think ahead, plot several
moves in advance, always with the goal of seizing the initiative in any
situation.

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There was another side to her father, however, that deepened her
identification with him. He loved spectacle; he was like an artist. She
would never forget the time the family toured the region and visited
Florence. They brought with them various theater troupes, the actors
wearing outlandish costumes. They dined in the country inside the
most beautifully colored tents. On the march, the brightly caparisoned
horses and the accompanying soldiers—all decked in the Sforza colors,
scarlet and white—would fill the landscape. It was a hypnotic and
thrilling sight, all orchestrated by her father. He delighted in always
wearing the latest in Milanese fashions, with his elaborate and
bejeweled silk gowns. She came to share this interest, clothes and
jewels becoming her passion. He might seem so virile in battle, but she
would see him crying like a baby as he listened to his favorite choral
music. He had an endless appetite for all aspects of life, and her love
and admiration for him knew no bounds.
And so in 1473, when her father informed the ten-year-old Caterina
of the marriage he had arranged for her, her only thought was to fulfill
her duty as a Sforza and please her father. The man Galeazzo had
chosen for her was Girolamo Riario, the thirty-year-old nephew of
Pope Sixtus IV, a marriage that would forge a valuable alliance
between Rome and Milan. As part of the arrangement, the pope
purchased the city of Imola, in Romagna, which the Sforzas had taken
decades before, christening the new couple the Count and Countess of
Imola. Later the pope would add the nearby town of Forlì to their
possessions, giving them control of a very strategically located part of
northeastern Italy, just south of Venice.
In her initial encounters with him, Caterina’s husband seemed a
most unpleasant man. He was moody, self-absorbed, and high-strung.
He appeared interested in her only for sex and could not wait for her to
come of age. Fortunately, he continued to live in Rome and she stayed
in Milan. But a few years later some disgruntled noblemen in Milan
murdered her beloved father, and the power of the Sforzas seemed in
jeopardy. Her position as the marriage pawn solidifying the