An American Tragedy (1925) Theodore Dreiser (1871-1945)

 

"I see. Anything else?"

 

"Yes, sir. I sent her a little money. Ten dollars once."

 

"But you didn't think of going back at all?"

 

"No, sir. I was afraid that if I went back they might arrest me."

 

"In other words," and here Jephson emphasized this with great clearness, "you were a moral 

and mental coward, as Mr. Belknap, my colleague, said."

 

"I object to this interpretation of this defendant's testimony for the benefit of the jury!" 

interrupted Mason.

 

"This defendant's testimony really needs no interpretation. It is very plain and honest, as any 

one can see," quickly interjected Jephson.

 

"Objection sustained!" called the judge. "Proceed. Proceed."

 

"And it was because you were a moral and mental coward as I see it, Clyde--not that I am 

condemning you for anything that you cannot help. (After all, you didn't make yourself, did you?)"

 

But this was too much, and the judge here cautioned him to use more discretion in framing 

his future questions.

 

"Then you went about in Alton, Peoria, Bloomington, Milwaukee, and Chicago--hiding 

away in small rooms in back streets and working as a dishwasher or soda fountain man, or a driver, 

and changing your name to Tenet when you really might have gone back to Kansas City and 

resumed your old place?" continued Jephson.

 

"I object! I object!" yelled Mason. "There is no evidence here to show that he could have 

gone there and resumed his old place."

 

"Objection sustained," ruled Oberwaltzer, although at the time in Jephson's pocket was a 

letter from Francis X. Squires, formerly captain of the bell-hops of the Green-Davidson at the time 

Clyde was there, in which he explained that apart from the one incident in connection with the 

purloined automobile, he knew nothing derogatory to Clyde; and that always previously, he had 

found him prompt, honest, willing, alert and well-mannered. Also that at the time the accident 

occurred, he himself had been satisfied that Clyde could have been little else than one of those led 

and that if he had returned and properly explained matters he would have been reinstated. It was 

irrelevant.

 

Thereafter followed Clyde's story of how, having fled from the difficulties threatening him 

in Kansas City and having wandered here and there for two years, he had finally obtained a place in 

Chicago as a driver and later as a bell-boy at the Union League, and also how while still employed 

at the first of these places he had written his mother and later at her request was about to write his 

uncle, when, accidentally meeting him at the Union League, he was invited by him to come to 

Lycurgus. And thereupon, in their natural order, followed all of the details, of how he had gone to 

work, been promoted and instructed by his cousin and the foreman as to the various rules, and then 

later how he had met Roberta and still later Miss X. But in between came all the details as to how 

and why he had courted Roberta Alden, and how and why, having once secured her love he felt and 

thought himself content--but how the arrival of Miss X, and her overpowering fascination for him, 

had served completely to change all his notions in regard to Roberta, and although he still admired 

her, caused him to feel that never again as before could he desire to marry her.

 

But Jephson, anxious to divert the attention of the jury from the fact that Clyde was so very 

fickle--a fact too trying to be so speedily introduced into the case--at once interposed with:

 

"Clyde! You really loved Roberta Alden at first, didn't you?"

 

"Yes, sir."

 

"Well, then, you must have known, or at least you gathered from her actions, from the first, 

didn't you, that she was a perfectly good and innocent and religious girl."

 

"Yes, sir, that's how I felt about her," replied Clyde, repeating what he had been told to say.

 

"Well, then, just roughly now, without going into detail, do you suppose you could explain 

to yourself and this jury how and why and where and when those changes came about which led to 

that relationship which we all of us" (and here he looked boldly and wisely and coldly out over the 

audience and then afterwards upon the jurors) "deplore. How was it, if you thought so highly of her 

at first that you could so soon afterwards descend to this evil relationship? Didn't you know that all 

men, and all women also, view it as wrong, and outside of marriage unforgivable--a statutory 

crime?"

 

The boldness and ironic sting of this was sufficient to cause at first a hush, later a slight 

nervous tremor on the part of the audience which, Mason as well as Justice Oberwaltzer noting, 

caused both to frown apprehensively. Why, this brazen young cynic! How dared he, via innuendo 

and in the guise of serious questioning, intrude such a thought as this, which by implication at least 

picked at the very foundations of society--religious and moral! At the same time there he was, 

standing boldly and leoninely, the while Clyde replied:

 

"Yes, sir, I suppose I did--certainly--but I didn't try to seduce her at first or at any time, 

really. I was in love with her."

 

"You were in love with her?"

 

"Yes, sir."

 

"Very much?"

 

"Very much."

 

"And was she as much in love with you at that time?"

 

"Yes, sir, she was."

 

"From the very first?"

 

"From the very first."

 

"She told you so?"

 

"Yes, sir."

 

"At the time she left the Newtons--you have heard all the testimony here in regard to that--

did you induce or seek to induce her in any way, by any trick or agreement, to leave there?"

 

"No, sir, I didn't. She wanted to leave there of her own accord. She wanted me to help her 

find a place."

 

"She wanted you to help her find a place?"

 

"Yes, sir."

 

"And just why?"

 

"Because she didn't know the city very well and she thought maybe I could tell her where 

there was a nice room she could get--one that she could afford."

 

"And did you tell her about the room she took at the Gilpins'?"

 

"No, sir, I didn't. I never told her about any room. She found it herself." (This was the exact 

answer he had memorized.)

 

"But why didn't you help her?"

 

"Because I was busy, days and most evenings. And besides I thought she knew better what 

she wanted than I did--the kind of people and all."

 

"Did you personally ever see the Gilpin place before she went there?"

 

"No, sir."

 

"Ever have any discussion with her before she moved there as to the kind of a room she was 

to take--its position as regards to entrance, exit, privacy, or anything of that sort?"

 

"No, sir, I never did."

 

"Never insisted, for instance, that she take a certain type of room which you could slip in 

and out of at night or by day without being seen?"

 

"I never did. Besides, no one could very well slip in or out of that house without being 

seen."

 

 

"And why not?"

 

"Because the door to her room was right next to the door to the general front entrance where 

everybody went in and out and anybody that was around could see." That was another answer he 

had memorized.

 

"But you slipped in and out, didn't you?"

 

"Well, yes, sir--that is, we both decided from the first that the less we were seen together 

anywhere, the better."

 

"On account of that factory rule?"

 

"Yes, sir--on account of that factory rule."

 

And then the story of his various difficulties with Roberta, due to Miss X coming into his 

life.

 

"Now, Clyde, we will have to go into the matter of this Miss X a little. Because of an 

agreement between the defense and the prosecution which you gentlemen of the jury fully 

understand, we can only touch on this incidentally, since it all concerns an entirely innocent person 

whose real name can be of no service here anyhow. But some of the facts must be touched upon, 

although we will deal with them as light as possible, as much for the sake of the innocent living as 

the worthy dead. And I am sure Miss Alden would have it so if she were alive. But now in regard to 

Miss X," he continued, turning to Clyde, "it is already agreed by both sides that you met her in 

Lycurgus some time in November or December of last year. That is correct, is it not?"

 

"Yes, sir, that is correct," replied Clyde, sadly.

 

"And that at once you fell very much in love with her?"

 

"Yes, sir. That's true."

 

"She was rich?"

 

"Yes, sir."

 

"Beautiful?

 

"I believe it is admitted by all that she is," he said to the court in general without requiring or 

anticipating a reply from Clyde, yet the latter, so thoroughly drilled had he been, now replied: "Yes, 

sir."

 

"Had you two--yourself and Miss Alden, I mean--at that time when you first met Miss X 

already established that illicit relationship referred to?"

 

"Yes, sir."

 

"Well, now, in view of all that--but no, one moment, there is something else I want to ask 

you first--now, let me see--at the time that you first met this Miss X you were still in love with 

Roberta Alden, were you--or were you not?"

 

"I was still in love with her--yes, sir."

 

"You had not, up to that time at least, in any way become weary of her? Or had you?"

 

"No, sir. I had not."

 

"Her love and her companionship were just as precious and delightful to you as ever?"

 

"Yes, sir, they were."

 

And as Clyde said that, he was thinking back and it seemed to him that what he had just said 

was really true. It was true that just before meeting Sondra he was actually at the zenith of content 

and delight with Roberta.

 

"And what, if any, were your plans for your future with Miss Alden-- before you met this 

Miss X? You must have thought at times of that, didn't you?"

 

"Well, not exactly," (and as he said this he licked his lips in sheer nervousness). "You see, I 

never had any real plan to do anything--that is, to do anything that wasn't quite right with her. And 

neither did she, of course. We just drifted kinda, from the first. It was being alone there so much, 

maybe. She hadn't taken up with anybody yet and I hadn't either. And then there was that rule that 

kept me from taking her about anywhere, and once we were together, of course we just went on 

without thinking very much about it, I suppose--either of us."

 

"You just drifted because nothing had happened as yet and you didn't suppose anything 

would. Is that the way?"

 

"No, sir. I mean, yes, sir. That's the way it was." Clyde was very eager to get those much-

rehearsed and very important answers, just right.

 

"But you must have thought of something--one or both of you. You were twenty-one and she 

was twenty-three."

 

"Yes, sir. I suppose we did--I suppose I did think of something now and then."

 

"And what was it that you thought? Can you recollect?"

 

"Well, yes, sir. I suppose I can. That is, I know that I did think at times that if things went all 

right and I made a little more money and she got a place somewhere else, that I would begin taking 

her out openly, and then afterwards maybe, if she and I kept on caring for each other as we did then, 

marry her, maybe."

 

"You actually thought of marrying her then, did you?"

 

"Yes, sir. I know I did in the way that I've said, of course."

 

"But that was before you met this Miss X?"

 

"Yes, sir, that was before that."

 

("Beautifully done!" observed Mason, sarcastically, under his breath to State Senator 

Redmond. "Excellent stage play," replied Redmond in a stage whisper.)

 

"But did you ever tell her in so many words?" continued Jephson.

 

"Well, no, sir. I don't recall that I did--not just in so many words."

 

"You either told her or you didn't tell her. Now, which was it?"

 

"Well, neither, quite. I used to tell her that I loved her and that I never wanted her to leave 

me and that I hoped she never would."

 

"But not that you wanted to marry her?"

 

"No, sir. Not that I wanted to marry her."

 

"Well, well, all right!--and she--what did she say?"

 

"That she never would leave me," replied Clyde, heavily and fearsomely, thinking, as he did 

so, of Roberta's last cries and her eyes bent on him. And he took from his pocket a handkerchief and 

began to wipe his moist, cold face and hands.

 

("Well staged!" murmured Mason, softly and cynically. "Pretty shrewd--pretty shrewd!" 

commented Redmond, lightly.)

 

"But, tell me," went on Jephson, softly and coldly, "feeling as you did about Miss Alden, 

how was it that upon meeting this Miss X, you could change so quickly? Are you so fickle that you 

don't know your own mind from day to day?"

 

"Well, I didn't think so up to that time--no, sir!"

 

"Had you ever had a strong and binding love affair at any time in your life before you met 

Miss Alden?"

 

"No, sir."

 

"But did you consider this one with Miss Alden strong and binding-- a true love affair--up to 

the time you met this Miss X?"

 

"Yes, sir, I did."

 

"And afterwards--then what?"

 

"Well--afterwards--it wasn't quite like that any more."

 

"You mean to say that on sight of Miss X, after encountering her once or twice, you ceased 

to care for Miss Alden entirely?"

 

"Well, no, sir. It wasn't quite like that," volunteered Clyde, swiftly and earnestly. "I did 

continue to care for her some--quite a lot, really. But before I knew it I had completely lost my head 

over--over Miss--Miss--"

 

"Yes, this Miss X. We know. You fell madly and unreasonably in love with her. Was that the 

way of it?"

 

"Yes, sir."

 

"And then?"

 

"Well--and then--I just couldn't care for Miss Alden so much any more." A thin film of 

moisture covered Clyde's forehead and cheeks as he spoke.

 

"I see! I see!" went on Jephson, oratorically and loudly, having the jury and audience in 

mind. "A case of the Arabian Nights, of the enscorcelled and the enscorcellor."

 

"I don't think I know what you mean," said Clyde.

 

"A case of being betwitched, my poor boy--by beauty, love, wealth, by things that we 

sometimes think we want very, very much, and cannot ever have--that is what I mean, and that is 

what much of the love in the world amounts to."

 

"Yes, sir," replied Clyde, quite innocently, concluding rightly that this was mere show of 

rhetoric on Jephson's part.

 

"But what I want to know is--how was it that loving Miss Alden as much as you say you 

did--and having reached that relationship which should have been sanctified by marriage--how was 

it that you could have felt so little bound or obligated to her as to entertain the idea of casting her 

over for this Miss X? Now just how was that? I would like to know, and so would this jury, I am 

sure. Where was your sense of gratitude? Your sense of moral obligation? Do you mean to say that 

you have none? We want to know."

 

This was really cross-examination--an attack on his own witness. Yet Jephson was within his 

rights and Mason did not interfere.

 

"Well . . ." and here Clyde hesitated and stumbled, quite as if he had not been instructed as to 

all this beforehand, and seemed to and did truly finger about in his own mind or reason for some 

thought that would help him to explain all this. For although it was true that he had memorized the 

answer, now that he was confronted by the actual question here in court, as well as the old problem 

that had so confused and troubled him in Lycurgus, he could scarcely think clearly of all he had 

been told to say, but instead twisted and turned, and finally came out with:

 

"The fact is, I didn't think about those things at all very much. I couldn't after I saw her. I 

tried to at times, but I couldn't. I only wanted her and I didn't want Miss Alden any more. I knew I 

wasn't doing right--exactly--and I felt sorry for Roberta--but just the same I didn't seem able to do 

anything much about it. I could only think of Miss X and I couldn't think of Roberta as I had before 

no matter how hard I tried."

 

"Do you mean to say that you didn't suffer in your own conscience on account of this?"

 

"Yes, sir, I suffered," replied Clyde. "I knew I wasn't doing right, and it made me worry a lot 

about her and myself, but just the same I didn't seem to be able to do any better." (He was repeating 

words that Jephson had written out for him, although at the time he first read them he felt them to 

be fairly true. He had suffered some.)

 

"And then?"

 

"Well, then she began to complain because I didn't go round to see her as much as before."

 

"In other words, you began to neglect her."

 

"Yes, sir, some--but not entirely--no, sir."

 

"Well, when you found you were so infatuated with this Miss X, what did you do? Did you 

go and tell Miss Alden that you were no longer in love with her but in love with some one else?"

 

"No, I didn't. Not then."

 

"Why not then? Did you think it fair and honorable to be telling two girls at once that you 

cared for them?"

 

"No, sir, but it wasn't quite like that either. You see at that time I was just getting acquainted 

with Miss X, and I wasn't telling her anything. She wouldn't let me. But I knew then, just the same, 

that I couldn't care for Miss Alden any more."

 

"But what about the claim Miss Alden had on you? Didn't you feel that that was enough or 

should be, to prevent you from running after another girl?"

 

"Yes, sir."

 

"Well, why did you then?"

 

"I couldn't resist her."

 

"Miss X, you mean?"

 

"Yes, sir."

 

"And so you continued to run after her until you had made her care for you?"

 

"No, sir, that wasn't the way at all."

 

"Well then, what was the way?"

 

"I just met her here and there and got crazy about her."

 

"I see. But still you didn't go and tell Miss Alden that you couldn't care for her any longer?"

 

"No, sir. Not then."

 

"And why not?"

 

"Because I thought it would hurt her, and I didn't want to do that."

 

"Oh, I see. You didn't have the moral or mental courage to do it then?"

 

"I don't know about the moral or mental courage," replied Clyde, a little hurt and irritated by 

this description of himself, "but I felt sorry for her just the same. She used to cry and I didn't have 

the heart to tell her anything."

 

"I see. Well, let it stand that way, if you want to. But now answer me one other thing. That 

relationship between you two--what about that--after you knew that you didn't care for her any 

more. Did that continue?"

 

"Well, no, sir, not so very long, anyhow," replied Clyde, most nervously and shamefacedly. 

He was thinking of all the people before him now--of his mother--Sondra--of all the people 

throughout the entire United States--who would read and so know. And on first being shown these 

questions weeks and weeks before he had wanted to know of Jephson what the use of all that was. 

And Jephson had replied: "Educational effect. The quicker and harder we can shock 'em with some 

of the real facts of life around here, the easier it is going to be for you to get a little more sane 

consideration of what your problem was. But don't worry your head over that now. When the time 

comes, just answer 'em and leave the rest to us. We know what we're doing." And so now Clyde 

added:

 

"You see, after meeting Miss X I couldn't care for her so much that way any more, and so I 

tried not to go around her so much any more. But anyhow, it wasn't so very long after that before 

she got in trouble and then--well--"

 

"I see. And when was that--about?"

 

"Along in the latter part of January last year."

 

"And once that happened, then what? Did you or did you not feel that it was your duty under 

the circumstances to marry her?"

 

"Well, no--not the way things were then--that is, if I could get her out of it, I mean."

 

"And why not? What do you mean by 'as things were then'?"

 

"Well, you see, it was just as I told you. I wasn't caring for her any more, and since I hadn't 

promised to marry her, and she knew it, I thought it would be fair enough if I helped her out of it 

and then told her that I didn't care for her as I once did."

 

"But couldn't you help her out of it?"

 

"No, sir. But I tried."

 

"You went to that druggist who testified here?"

 

"Yes, sir."

 

"To anybody else?"

 

"Yes, sir--to seven others before I could get anything at all."

 

"But what you got didn't help?"

 

"No, sir."

 

"Did you go to that young haberdasher who testified here as he said?"