follows. Or as in the example of Lisa and Jim, she does not do the things she wants to do so that
she can be with her partner.
2. Emotional
When he pulls away, she emotionally follows him. She worries about him. She wants to help
him feel better. She feels sorry for him. She smothers him with attention and praise.
Another way she may emotionally stop him from pulling away is to disapprove of his need to
be alone. Through disapproving she is also emotionally pulling him back.
Another approach is to look longingly or hurt when he pulls away. In this way she pleads for
his intimacy and he feels controlled.
3. Mental
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She may try to pull him back mentally by asking him guilt-inducing questions such as "How
could you treat me this way?" or "What's wrong with you?" or "Don't you realize how much it
hurts me when you pull away?"
Another way she may try to pull him back is to try to please him. She becomes overly
accommodating. She tries to be perfect so he would never have any reason to pull away. She
gives up her sense of self and tries to become what she thinks he wants.
She is afraid to rock the boat for fear that he might pull away, and so she withholds her true
feelings and avoids doing anything that may upset him.
The second major way a woman may unknowingly interrupt a man's intimacy cycle is to
punish him for pulling away. The following is a list of the most common ways a woman
"punishes a man" and prevents him from coming back and opening up to her:
PUNISHING BEHAVIORS
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