to pull away and then later spring back. They may mistakenly think something is wrong, with
them. It is such a relief for both men and women to understand these secrets about men.
WISE MEN AND WOMEN
Men generally don't realize how their suddenly pulling away and then later returning affects
women. With this new insight about how women are affected by his intimacy cycle, a man can
recognize the importance of sincerely listening when a woman speaks. He understands and
respects her need to be reassured that he is interested in her and he does care. Whenever he is
not needing to pull away, the wise man takes the time to initiate conversation by asking his
female partner how she is feeling.
He grows to understand his own cycles and reassures her when he pulls away that he will be
back. He might say "I need some time to be alone and then we will have some special time
together with no distractions." Or if he starts to pull away while she is talking he might say "I
need some time to think about this and then we can talk again."
When he returns to talk, she might probe him to understand why he left. If he's not sure, which
is many times the case, he might say "I'm not sure. I just needed some time to myself. But let's
continue our conversation."
He is more aware that she needs to be heard and he needs to listen more when he is not pulling
away. In addition, he knows that listening helps him to become aware of what he wants to
share in a conversation.
To initiate a conversation the wise woman learns not to demand that a man talk but asks that he
truly listen to her. As her emphasis changes, the pressure on him is released. She learns to open
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