16. How can you hear your partner's anger if, as a child, your mother or father took their
frustrations out on you through yelling and being demanding?
17. How do you open up and trust your partner if the first people you trusted with your
innocence betrayed you in some way?
18. How are you supposed to communicate your feelings lovingly and respectfully if you
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haven't had eighteen years of practice without the threat of being rejected and abandoned?
The answer to all these eighteen questions is the same it is possible to learn loving
communication, but we need to work at it. We have to make up for the eighteen years of
neglect. No matter how perfect our parents were, nobody is really perfect. If you have problems
communicating, it is neither a curse nor all your partner's fault. It is simply a lack of having the
correct training and the safety to practice.
In reading the above questions, you may have had some feelings come up. Don't waste this
special opportunity to heal yourself. Take twenty minutes right now and write one of your
parents a Love Letter. Simply get a pen and some paper and begin expressing your feelings,
using the Love Letter format. Try it now, and you will be amazed at the outcome.
TELLING THE COMPLETE TRUTH
Love Letters work because they assist you in telling the complete truth. Merely to explore a part
of your feelings does not bring about the desired healing. For example..
1. Feeling your anger may not help you at all. It may just make you more angry. The more you
dwell on just your anger, the more upset you will become.
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