Ielts essay Clinic Targeted Feedback pdf 2 Your Main Body Paragraphs
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- Explanation Student sample Most of the locals have already visited the historical sites in their city at least
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being a tourist abroad.
Advice- This response attempts to explain the main point but it seems to be two seperate explanations rather than one cohesive explanation. Do not use multiple separate points. 15 © 2021 IELTS Advantage All rights reserved © 2020 IELTS Advantage All rights reserved Explanation Student sample Most of the locals have already visited the historical sites in their city at least twice in their past, so they do not feel much motivated to see the same things again. After working for 5 days, people want something new to look forward to spending their time with on the weekends. The historical places lack that newness in them due to which people get attracted to other options which offer them entertainment and a more dynamic ambience. For example, most of the Delhi localities prefer visiting malls as compared to the Old Fort as the malls provide them with different options such as watching movie, restaurants, fun rides for kids, etc. 16 © 2021 IELTS Advantage All rights reserved People from the local community often find these attractions too expensive to visit. This is because there is often an entrance fee charged to attend and there is also the added cost of transportation and refreshments. These expenses can often be very difficult to afford for someone on a low salary when compared to a tourist who has the money to go and visit different countries. VIP Student Explanation © 2021 IELTS Advantage All rights reserved 17 |
