When You’re Ready, This Is How You Heal

They’ll tell you to go out drinking, start dating, and revel in your
newfound freedom. This will be annoying at best, and absolutely

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maddening at worst. There’s nothing more frustrating than someone
who seems to believe that a shot of tequila and a random Saturday
hookup will be a salve for the life-shattering heartbreak you’re
experiencing right now. The future as you thought it would be has
changed. The present as you’re used to it has, too. You do not need any
more uncertainties right now. You do not need to try to force yourself
into a new life when you’re already panicked about what’s going to
happen next.
The harder you try to “let go” and “move on,” the more your brain is
going to latch onto reasons why you should think about it more, try
again, or keep hoping.
The thing about “letting go” is that it’s less an active choice as it is
accepting that something is already gone. It’s not really that you
actually dismiss someone from your life, it’s that you come to terms
with the fact that they are already gone. In that, you can find a
semblance of peace: you aren’t toying with whether or not you should
unclasp your hand and release something, you only have to realize that
you are already living without this person. They are already gone. You
have, essentially, already let go.
People feel uncertainty because it’s the unknown. But uncertainty is
also an incredible blessing, because it means that for the first time, you
are detached from what happened in the past and what you think you
want to happen in the future. When you are uncertain, you are open to
making choices that otherwise wouldn’t have been possible, because