A new Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated

Mother: Davis, it’s time to go to your swim lesson. 
Davis (playing with Legos at the kitchen table): I’m 
not going. I hate swim lessons. 
Mother (now using Emergency Plan B): Davis, we 
have a problem, because your brother has a swim 
lesson, too, and I can’t leave you home alone. 
Davis: I don’t care! I’m not going! 
Mother: We need to find a way to work this out. You 
don’t want to go to your swim lesson, but I need 
to take— 
Davis (slamming his fist on the table, red-faced): 
HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?! I HATE 
SWIMMING! I’M NOT GOING! GET AWAY FROM ME! 
Mother: Davis, I didn’t say you had to go to your 
swim lesson. I said we have to find a way to work 
this out. That’s different. 
Davis: I’m sick of working things out. IF YOU DON’T 
SHUT UP, I’M GOING TO KILL YOU! 
Davis’s brother: Mom, I’m gonna be late for my swim 
lesson! 
Mother, to brother: Alden, can you go get my purse? 
I think it’s in my bedroom. 
Mother, to Davis (Reassurance, plus Invitation): Davis, 
I’m not saying you have to go to your swim lesson. 
I’m just trying to think of how we can get your 
brother to his swim lesson without me leaving you 
home alone. Do you have any ideas? 
Davis: No! 

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116 
The Explosive Child 
Mother: I might have an idea. Would you like to 
hear it? 
Davis: Fine! 
Mother: Can you take the Legos with you and you 
can work on your Legos while your brother is at his 
swim lesson? 
Davis: The pieces will break apart. I don’t want to go. 
Mother: I understand that you don’t want to go. I’m 
not saying you have to take your swim lesson. But 
I can’t leave you home alone. The only way I can 
think of to work this out is for you to come with me 
and bring the Legos along. If you have a different 
idea, I’m happy to listen.