A new Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated

My child is exploding at school, and I don’t think the 
teachers have heard of this model. Advice? 
Sounds like your child is blowing through the embar-
rassment factor. Schools (not all but most) tend to be bas-
tions of Plan A. You’ll have to make sure they get exposed 
to this model. More in Chapter 11. 
There are many problems that haven’t been mentioned 
yet—like lying, stealing, drug use, sex—how would 
those problems be handled using Plan B? 
The steps are the same, and the Empathy step may be 
the hardest. Just remember, some difficult issues require 
more than one Plan B conversation. Sometimes the solution 
that ends up solving the problem durably isn’t arrived at 
until after a few solutions to the problem have been tried. 

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170 
The Explosive Child 
But here’s what a Proactive Plan B conversation might look 
like on the lying issue: 
Adult (Empathy): I’ve noticed that sometimes it’s 
hard for you to tell me the truth about some 
things. 
Child: Like what? 
Adult: Well, the other day I asked you if your 
homework was done, and you told me it was. So I 
let you keep playing your video game. But I got a 
note from Mrs. Nixon today that your homework 
actually wasn’t done. 
Child: She’s lying! 
Adult (Empathy): She could be lying, I guess. But I’ve 
noticed that you were having trouble telling the 
truth about some other things that had nothing to 
do with Mrs. Nixon. 
Child: What else? 
Adult: Uhm, when I called home from my meeting 
last week I asked you if you had mowed the lawn, 
and you told me you had. And then I got home 
and the lawn wasn’t mowed. Remember? 
Child: Well, I meant to mow the lawn before you got 
home, but I didn’t get to it.