others. In addition she may find relief through discussing the problems of her friends,
relatives, and associates. Whether she is talking about her problems or others' problems,
talking is a natural and healthy Venusian reaction to stress.
HOW MEN REACT WHEN WOMEN NEED TO TALK
When women talk about problems, men usually resist. A man assumes she is talking with him
about her problems because she is holding him responsible. The more problems, the more he
feels blamed. He does not realize that she is talking to feel better. A man doesn't know that she
will appreciate it if he just listens.
Martians talk about problems for only two reasons: they are blaming someone or they are
seeking advice. If a woman is really upset a man assumes she is blaming him. If she seems less
upset, then he assumes she is asking for advice.
If he assumes she is asking for advice, then he puts on his Mr Fix-It hat to solve her problems.
If he assumes she is blaming him, then he draws his sword to protect himself from attack. In
both cases, he soon finds it difficult to listen.
If he offers solutions to her problems, she just continues talking about more problems. After
offering two or three solutions, he expects her to feel better. This is because Martians
themselves feel better with solutions, as long as they have asked for a solution to be offered.
When she doesn't feel better, he feels his solutions have been rejected, and he feels
unappreciated.
On the other hand, if he feels attacked, then he begins to defend himself. He thinks if he
explains himself that she will stop blaming him. The more he defends himself, however, the
more upset she becomes. He doesn't realize that explanations are not what she needs. She needs
Do'stlaringiz bilan baham: |
